there was once a little girl called lulu, who is also me, that wanted to visit the moon for just one time. and so i packed up *rything that i will need, and went to the * port to get ready.
before we took off, i just ate a sandwich and dreamed if i were an astronaut. “3, 2, 1…” and we blasted off to outer *. i was so excited that i *n took notes when we were still on the ship. i wrote these words which i only have in my own brain; they were, “i love flying on the * ship and learn about outer *, although i am not *n on the moon,” those words i thought that would make my father proud.
now since we had already reached the moon, i got down and jumped up, and figured that i could jump very high. i knew why because i learned it in science class today, and so i wrote, “on the moon, i can jump very high because that our weight is lighter on the moon according to its gravity.” i love exploring, and heard that there were also aliens here.
i was really excited, and asked some of the real alive astronauts if the aliens were true, some of them said yes but some of them said no; i was confused, “why did some say yes and some say no? i think that i shall have to find out;” after saying those words i and the astronauts went around and around the moon looking for aliens. at first i thought that we could find some, but after an hour we began to feel * that the aliens didn’t exist at all; some of the astronauts smiled.
i didn’t know why they smiled but i thought that it was pretty natural. after one minute i heard a thumping noise, and a queer sound coming from the darks side of the moon. i looked over there and saw some queer little fellows heading their way, they had no where to hide, and so they found a pile of rock which was by our side; and went to hide. when the little queer men went away we came out of our hiding spot and went on. i began to write, “i knew at once that they must be the aliens…” i thought it was a cool report and the astronauts smiled again.
i did not know what they were smiling at, probably their ha*t or something perhaps? after thinking about that queer question i heard another thumping sound and some huge men walked pass them just as the little ones did. i was now really confused, “some little and some *g ones?” perhaps they were having a * or something like that.
after the tour, i was very excited to give my report to my father and so hopped on the * ship to go back to earth. but there was a problem; they couldn’t find where they lived. the astronauts smiled and didn’t say a word. i was now extra confused because i thought that they were nervous too. and so they took another passage to africa where it is the place best to have a safari, which is to have a picnic with wild animals around them.
after landing i said, “why did you take this pass?” and then after that they smiled again, i was still confused. when i turned my head in front of myself, i saw dad on the ground with wild animals all around him. now i remembered that it was my *rthday; i was so surprised, and *n the aliens came. now i know the whole plan about this.
修改后：
there was once a little girl called lulu, who was me, wanted to visit the moon for just one time. so i packed up *rything that i needed, and went to the * port to get ready.
before we took off, i just ate a sandwich and dreamed i had been an astronaut. “3, 2, 1…” and we blasted off to outer *. i was so excited that i *n took notes when we were still on the ship. i wrote these words which i only have in my own brain; they were, “i love flying on the * ship and learn about outer *, although i am not *n on the moon,” i thought those words would make my father proud.
when we reached the moon, i got down and jumped up, and figured that i could jump very high. i knew why because i learned it in science class. so i wrote, “on the moon, i can jump very high because our weight is lighter on the moon according to its gravity.” i loved exploring, and heard that there were also aliens there.
i was really excited, and asked some of the real alive astronauts if the aliens were true, some of them said yes but some of them said no, so i was confused. “why did some say yes and some say no?" i thought that i should have to find it out. then the astronauts and i went around and around the moon looking for aliens. at first i thought that we could find some, but an hour later, we began to doubt that the aliens didn’t exist at all. some of the astronauts smiled.
i didn’t know why they smiled but i thought that it was pretty natural. one minute later, i heard a thumping noise, and a queer sound coming from the darks side of the moon. i looked over there and saw some queer little fellows heading their way. they had no where to hide, so they found a pile of rock which was by our side. when the little queer men went away, we came out of our hiding spot and went on. i began to write, “i knew at once that they must be the aliens…” i thought it was a cool report and the astronauts smiled again.
i did not know what they were smiling at, perhaps their ha*t or something else? after thinking about that queer question, i heard another thumping sound and some huge men walked pass them just as the little ones did. i was now really confused, “some little and some *g ones?” perhaps they were having a * or something like that.
after the tour, i was very excited to give my report to my father and hopped on the * ship to go back to earth. but there was a problem; they couldn’t find where they lived. the astronauts smiled and didn’t say a word. i was now extra confused because i thought they were nervous too. and so they took another passage to africa where it is the best place to have a safari, which is to have a picnic with wild animals around them.
after landing i said, “why did you take this pass?” and then they smiled again, i was still confused. when i turned my head in front of myself, i saw dad on the ground with wild animals all around him. now i remembered that it was my *rthday. i was so surprised, and *n the aliens came. suddenly, i realized the whole plan.
四年级:欧阳雨鹭
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