1、生活就像超级女声，走到*后的都是纯爷们儿。
life is like a super girl. all the men come to the end.
2、问*何在，蓦然回首，他就在我眼前咫尺处。
ask the fool where, suddenly look back, he is in front of me.
3、没有什么比熬夜更重要，猝死了还有下辈子。
nothing is * important than staying up late. sudden death has the next life.
4、此刻情绪不好，除了吃得下饭，什么都不想干。
i'm in a bad mood at the moment. i don't want to do anything but eat.
5、我一生只不会两件事：这也不会，那也不会。
there are only two things i can't do in my life: neither this nor that.
6、一个人的努力，永远也没法决定两个人的关系！
one person's efforts can n*r determine the relationship between two people!
7、没事的话别来找我，有事那就更别来找我了。
if it's ok, don't come to me. if you have something, don't come to me.
8、在*美好的的时候，遇见**的你们，真好！
in the best of times, meet the most obscene you, good!
9、以前对你所做的无知行为，我在这里跟您老道歉。
i would like to apologize to you for your ignorance.
10、即日开始忘记所有烦恼，开开心心度过每一天。
today, i began to forget all my troubles and spend *ry day happily.
11、你的父母都是做实验员吗？你看起来好像试验品。
are your parents both experimenters? you look like an experiment.
12、我是个很酷的人，扭头就走，比你残酷比你狠。
i'm a cool person, turn around and leave, * cruel than you, * cruel than you.
13、看你长的一副欠抽样，真是驴见驴*，猪见猪踩。
look at your long a pair of under sampling, it is true that the donkey sees the donkey kicking, the pig sees the pig trampling.
14、说真的，你没有太阳那么耀眼，还偶尔是阴天。
seriously, you are not as dazzling as the sun, and occasionally cloudy.
15、睡在蚊帐里的感觉，就像夏天饭桌罩里一盘剩菜。
sleeping in a mosquito net feels like a plate of leftovers in the cover of a table in summer.
16、目前*大烦恼之一：经济能力跟不上审美能力。
one of the *ggest worries at present: the economic a*lity can't keep up with the aesthetic a*lity.
17、童言无忌的含义就是把小孩说的话，当做是*。
the meaning of tongyanwuji is to take what children say as farting.
18、没有人是不可替代的，没有东西是必须拥有的。
no one is irreplaceable, nothing is necessary.
19、我说：要有上班以外的生活！于是，有了加班。
i said: to have a life outside of work! so, there was overtime.
20、别人生日吃的是长寿面，我生日吃的是挂面。
other people's *rthday is longevity noodles, my *rthday is noodles.
21、五毛和五毛是*幸福的，因为他们凑成了一块。
wumao and wumao are the h*st, because they are all together.
22、若有来生，但将陪君醉笑三千场，不诉离殇。
if there is an afterlife, but will accompany you drunk smile 3000, do not tell from the war.
23、你信不信我一巴掌把你拍墙上，抠都抠不下来！
beli* it or not, i beat you on the wall with one slap. i can't *n dig you down!
24、*说：惹什么都不能惹流血一周都不死的动物。
dad said: nothing can be provoked to make animals bleed for a week.
25、我的人生理所当然是要酷到底，但又毫无拘束。
of course, my human physiology is to be cool to the end, but not restrained.
26、赚钱，能治愈一切矫情，有钱，能治愈一切自卑。
* money can cure all affectation, money can cure all inferiority complex.
27、我的男人就得听我的，他不听我的还听你的啊。
my man has to listen to me. he doesn't listen to me and he listens to you.
28、*面前一条弯弯的河；*胸前荡起层层的波。
in front of my brother, there is a winding river; there are waves in front of my sister.
29、彼此说话客气点，我没你想的，那么善解人意。
talk to each other politely. i'm not as understanding as you think.
30、记得小时候*霸气的一句话是：你放学等着。
i remember the most domineering sentence when i was a child: you wait after school..
31、看到*就神魂颠倒，怪不得别人夸你叫*。
when you see a beautiful woman, you can't be surprised.
32、想尽办法挽回所有，却找不到重归於好的理由。
i tried my best to save *rything, but i couldn't find a reason to return to the good.
33、如果你想要无可取代，就必须时刻与众不同。
if you want to be irreplaceable, you must always be different.
34、你吹牛皮厉害是吗？有本事你真给我吹破一个。
you boast a lot, don't you? if you have the a*lity, you can blow one for me.
35、别说你会改，阻碍我的步伐，浪费我的青春。
don't say you will change, hinder my pace, waste my youth.
36、好好拼搏吧，以后有事找秘书干，没事干秘书。
fight hard. if you have something to do with your secretary, you can do it if you have nothing.
37、空有一身撩妹的本事，可惜自己也是个妹子。
he has the a*lity to tease a girl, but he is also a girl.
38、亲爱的，你慢慢飞，小心摔一跤，我可不负责。
honey, you fly slowly. i'm not responsible for your fall.
39、真正的爱情不需要海誓山盟，因为那样不会永远。
true love doesn't need vows, because it won't last for*r.
40、你还是让我跪搓板吧，跪电暖气实在受不了啊！
you'd better let me kneel on the washboard, kneeling electric heating really can't stand it!
41、你的齐天大圣正在来的路上，别被野猴子迷了眼。
your qi tian da sheng is on his way. don't be blinded by wild monkeys.
42、黄瓜必须拍，人生必须嗨，短暂生活不留遗憾。
cucumber must be photographed, life must be hi, short life without regret.
43、你当我是浮夸吧，有多少人有用这句话安慰自己。
you regard me as boastful, how many people use this sentence to comfort themselves.
44、别再庸人自扰，峩并不太可靠，何必投妳所好。
don't bother yourself, i'm not very reliable, why vote for you.
45、不管多大岁数的人类成员，在钱面前，一概年轻。
no matter how old human members are, they are always young in front of money.
46、现在的我，上不去的是工资，下不去的是体重。
now i, can not go up is the salary, can not go down is the weight.
47、生活把我逼成了汉子，你却让我表演小鸟依人？
life makes me a man, but you make me act like a *rd?
48、*不过是说出来，吓唬吓唬这一身肉罢了。
losing weight is just saying it out and scaring the whole body.
49、懂我的人不需要解释，不懂我的人没必要解释。
people who understand me don't need to explain, people who don't understand me don't need to explain.
50、可能我只是个过客，但你不会遇到第二个我。
maybe i'm just a passer-by, but you won't meet a second me.
51、年轻时候不努力，老了的时候只有喝西北风了。
when you are young, you don't work hard. when you are old, you have to drink.
52、哪有什么*，只不过是想让朋友开心而已。
it's just to make friends happy.
53、对喜欢的人不需要备注，正因她占了一个分组。
there is no need to comment on the person you like because she is in a group.
54、如果命运掐住了你的喉咙，你就挠命运的咯吱窝。
if fate pinches your throat, you scratch the creak nest of destiny.
55、你的牙如同天上的繁星，色泽鲜艳，相距甚远。
your teeth are like the stars in the sky. they are bright and far apart.
56、不要拿我离不开你当把柄，就去随便勾搭别人。
don't take me away from you as a handle, just go and hook up with others.
57、这日子太无聊了，一点点风吹，我就想*动。
this day is too boring, a little wind, i want to move grass.
58、努力不一定改变人生，想要改变人生必须努力。
hard work does not necessarily change life. if you want to change your life, you must work hard.
59、你不是我脑袋里的*，无权干预我的走向。
you are not the traffic police in my head, and have no right to interfere with my direction.
60、不能自拔的，除了爱情，还有别人地里的萝卜。
unable to extricate themselves, in addition to love, there are others in the field radish.
