[学生习作a]
my hobby is read books①。when i was s*n years old.i became interested in reading books.i like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.i can learn a lot of knowledge from books. books also② can teach me how to be a good person.books *n can solve many problems for me.i will read * good books to improve myself.
①改为reading books，动词作表语时应该用动名词。
②also的位置应放在can之后。
[点评]：档次9-11分。
①要点不全，漏掉*后一个要点。
②句子基本无误，能正确传递*给读者但文章不流畅，句子与句子之间过渡不自然，给读者感觉在回答上述问题。
③有少量错误。
[学生习作b]
my hobby is reading.reading books is very enjoyable.when i was young ，my mother used to tell me a story before.i went to bed *ry night.the stories were so interesting that i always felt they weren’t enough.so i began to read books by myself.little by little i became interested in reading.i can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.when i read books，i can enjoy the beautiful sentences.at the same time i can improve my writing.i want to be a writer in the future，so i must study hard and read * books so that my dream can come true.
①开门见山、点题。
②真情流露，理由充分。
③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当，使文章过渡自然、
④巧妙使用句型以表决心。
[点评]：档次13-14分。
①清楚表达写作目的，要点齐全。
②语言表达灵活多样，字里行间流露出真情实感，文章有感染力。
③恰当使用连词和从句，语言流畅，且无错误，是一篇高质量的作文。
__