1、这个世间只有圆滑，没有*的。
this world only smooth, not perfect.
2、我卖的了梦，装得了酷，我是超级*美少女。
i sell the dream, pretend to be cool, i am a super invincible beauty girl.
3、我是水神，我为自己带盐！
i am the water god, i bring salt for myself!
4、听君一席话，省我十本书。
listen to your words, save me ten books.
5、大姨妈是*鬼，*是吸血鬼。
*g aunt is a spitting blood *, sanitary napkin is a vampire.
6、我们说好不分离，要一直一直在一起。
we agreed not to separate, to always be together.
7、待*后嫁得良人，定谢你当年不娶之恩。
i will thank you for not marrying when i am married.
8、我跟你不熟，但你可以拿钱来跟我套近乎。
i don't know you very well, but you can use money to get close to me.
9、别跟姐说白头偕老，姐要的是永远黑发*。
don't tell me to grow old together. what i want is always black hair.
10、毁灭友情的方式有很多，*彻底的一种是借钱。
there are many ways to destroy friendship. the most thorough one is to borrow money.
11、想谈恋爱了，快点阻止我。
want to fall in love, stop me.
12、分手快乐，祝你快乐，你找不到比我更好的。
break up happy, wish you happy, you can't find better than me.
13、愚者坐以待毙，智者坐以待币。
a fool sits in wait for death, a wise man sits for a coin.
14、好看的锁骨千篇一律，有趣的肚腩弹来弹去。
good looking clavicles are the same, and interesting bellies are bouncing around.
15、只是因为在人群中多看了你一眼，我便瞎了眼。
just because i saw you * in the crowd, i was blind.
16、我很想知道：我喝醉了会喊出谁的名字。
i'd like to know: whose name will i call out when i'm drunk.
17、不要轻易说爱，许下的承诺就是欠下的债！
don't say love easily, promise is debt!
18、学海无涯钱做舟，书山有路抄捷径。
there is no end to learning. money is a boat. there is a way to make a shortcut.
19、是风，无情的把我从女神吹成了女神经。
is the wind, mercilessly blew me from the goddess into a female nerve.
20、不要在一棵树上吊死，在附近几棵树上多试试。
don't hang on one tree, try s*ral nearby trees.
21、小隐隐于朦胧诗，大隐隐于肥皂剧。
small hidden in hazy poetry, *g hidden in soap opera.
22、人生自古谁无死，早死晚死还不是一样要死！
life since ancient times who has no death, early death and late death is not the same as death!
23、打你就打你，还要挑日子吗？
i'll beat you if i hit you. do you still have to choose a date?
24、你就是我心中的那首忐忑，总是让我惊心动魄。
you are the song in my heart, always let me thrill.
25、树多了就有枯枝，人多了就有*。
if there are * trees, there will be dead branches; if there are * people, there will be idiots.
26、虽然我不喜欢海鲜，但美人鱼还是可以接受的。
although i don't like seafood, mermaids are acceptable.
27、道理我都懂，可我就是想睡服你。
i know all the truth, but i just want to sleep on you.
28、不要总是对我忽冷忽热，那样的话我怕感冒。
don't always be cold and hot to me, in which case i'm afraid of catching a cold.
29、我这人从不记仇，一般有仇当场我就报了。
i don't bear a grudge. i usually take r*nge on the spot.
30、待你长发及腰，送你一把剪刀。
when you have long hair and waist, i will give you a pair of scissors.
31、瑕疵多了，竟然也会觉得一个缺角也是完美。
there are so many flaws that *n a missing corner is perfect.
32、早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫虫被鸟吃。
the early *rd catches the worm, and the early *rd catches the worm.
33、我的理想是，做一名人类灵魂的搓澡师。
my ideal is to be a bath * of human soul.
34、我只要吃得够快，脂肪就追不上我。
as long as i eat fast enough, fat won't catch up with me.
35、我没什么出息，就是想*的床。
i'm no good, just want to get into your bed.
36、本想华丽的转身，不料低调的撞墙。
originally wanted to luxuriant turn, unexpectedly low-key bumps into the wall.
37、掉头发的时候感觉自己是一株蒲公英。
i feel like a dandelion when i lose my hair.
38、建议你换一换，你的女友很平凡。
suggest you change, your girlfriend is very ordinary.
39、你无法叫醒一个不回你*的人，但是红包能。
you can't wake someone who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can.
40、鬼是很怕死亡的，因为他们死后，就会变*。
*s are afraid of death, because when they die, they will become human beings.
41、把你那自豪的刘海洗洗吧，都能甩出2斤油！
wash your proud bangs, you can throw out 2 jin of oil!
42、不宽恕众生，不原谅众生，是苦了你自己。
if you don't forgive all living beings, you will suffer yourself.
43、虽然我不会做饭，但是我点得一手好外卖呀！
although i can't cook, i order takeout very well!
44、蓝精灵对着阿凡达唱：长大后，我就成了你。
the smurfs sing to *: i'll be you when i grow up.
45、年轻只有一次，不疯狂怎么和*说当年。
young only once, not crazy how to say that year with my son.
46、低调不代表我没有光芒，善良不代表我就懦弱。
low key doesn't mean i don't have light, kindness doesn't mean i'm weak.
47、为了当年你那句保重，这么多年我一直没瘦。
take care of yourself, i haven't been thin for so many years.
48、把快乐建在我之上，你以为你就是快乐的吗。
build happiness on me. do you think you are happy.