the man of state song, * shang, went to the state of qin as an envoy1. before setting off, he had only s*ral carriages provided by the song government, but when he returned, he had one hundred carriages bestowed2 by the king of qin for he had flattered the king appropriately.
he went to visit zhuang zi complacently3, and boasted, "to convince the king of the powerful country, accomplish the mission assigned by the king of homeland, and to be followed by hundreds of carriages is my strongpoint."
surprised zhuang zi responded, "i heard that the king of qin have called on the doctors to treat his illness, and who*r could lick his hemorrhoids would he rewarded with five carriages. the dirtier the place of treatment, the * carriages you would get. how could you have got so many carriages if you had not licked his hemorrhoids? you'd better go away from my place."
宋仁曹商出使秦国。出发的时候，只有宋国配备的几辆马车，由于奉承得法，返回时，他已拥有秦王赠送的一百辆马车。
曹商满脸得意地去见庄子，并夸耀到：“说服大王国君，不辱本国国君主的使命，跟随的马车有百辆之多，这是我的长处。”
庄子惊讶地说：“听说秦王曾召集医生给他治病，凡是能做到用*痔疮的，就可以得到五辆马车作为酬金。治疗的地方越肮脏还，得到的马车也就越多，你如果不是给秦王舔过痔疮，怎么会得到这么多马车？你还是马上从我这里走开吧！”
__