it was my first day as newcomer to miss hargrove’s s*nth grade. past “newcomer” experiences had been difficult, so i was very anxious to fit in. after being introduced to the class, i bravely put on a smile and took my seat, expecting to be shunned1.
lunchtime was a pleasant surprise when the girls all crowded around my table. their chatter2 was friendly, so i began to relax. my new classmates filled me in on the school, the teachers and the other kids. it wasn’t long before the class nerd was pointed3 out to me: mary lou english. actually she called herself mary louise. a prim4, prissy young girl with a stern visage and old-fashioned clothes, she wasn’t ugly -- not *n funny looking. i thought she was quite pretty, but i had sense enough not to say so. dark-eyed and olive-skinned, she had long, silky black hair, but -- she had pipe curls! practical shoes, long wool skirt and a starched5, frilly blouse completed the image of a complete *. the girls’ whispers and giggles6 got louder and louder. mary lou made eye contact with no one as she strode past our table, chin held high with iron determination. she ate alone.
after school, the girls invited me to join them in front of the school. i was thrilled to be a member of the club, how*r tentative. we waited. for what, i didn’t yet know. oh, how i wish i had gone home, but i had a lesson to learn.
arms wrapped around her backpack, mary lou came down the school steps. the taunting7 began - rude, *ting comments and jeerin* from the girls. i paused, then joined right in. my momentum9 began to pick up as i approached her. nasty, mean remarks fell unabated from my lips. no one could tell i’d n*r done this before. the other girls stepped back and became my cheerleaders. emboldened10, i yanked the strap11 of her backpack and then pushed her. the strap broke, mary lou fell and i backed off. *ryone was laughing and patting me. i fit in. i was a leader.
i was not proud. something inside me hurt. if you’ve *r picked a wing off a butterfly, you know how i felt. mary lou got up, gathered her books and -- without a tear shed or retort given -- off she went. she held her head high as a small trickle12 of blood ran down from her bruised13 knee. i watched her limp away down the street.
i turned to leave with my laughing friends and noticed a man standing14 beside his car. his olive skin, dark hair and handsome features told me this was her father. respectful of mary lou’s proud spirit, he remained still and watched the lonely girl walk toward him. only his eyes -- shining with both grief and pride -- followed. as i passed, he looked at me in silence with burning tears that spoke15 to my shame and scalded my heart. he didn’t speak a word.
no scolding from a teacher or preaching from a parent could linger as much as that hurt in my heart from the day a father’s eyes taught me kindness and strength and dignity. i n*r again joined the cruel herds16. i n*r again hurt someone for my own gain.
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